“As I pondered a pronoun change, I began to think of gender as less a scale and more as a landscape,” says Maia Kobabe, the author and illustrator of Gender Queer, a vibrant and eye-opening graphic novel. Kobabe prefers to use the pronouns: E. Eir and Eim. In the novel, Kobabe shares the joy of finding the right pronouns and anxiety for inconveniencing loved ones to use eir preferred pronouns. In doing so, it introduced us to gender terms and showed us the self-reflection it brings out. 

During a Nepal Reads book discussion, we talked about the use and importance of pronouns. We encouraged participants to use Kobabe’s preferred pronouns when referring to eir. Throughout the session, we stumbled to get the pronouns correct and many put forth their fear of getting things wrong and being shunned or worse, offending someone around a sensitive topic such as gender and sexuality. 

Some of us also spoke out about being conditioned to look at gender as a binary - based on what is between our legs. In such a scenario, pronouns have become a means to express, identify and find solace in your own self. We were able to realize the spectrum allows for more than a binary and how amazing it was that who we are can be more than what we are. 

The importance of pronouns and why we should put an effort to use it seemed obviously a show of support from allies. Yet through this book discussion, we put ourselves in their shoes and empathized with the want to explore and accept ourselves. We understood that it was fine to make mistakes and learn, helping and encouraging one another. Gender and Sexuality is a sensitive topic, but it’s sensitive because we don’t talk about it, not because it is too delicate to talk about.